Monday, April 15, 2013

The Problems With PUA and Game (Part 1)

or, Why Self-Respect Won't Allow Me to Take PUA Values and Attitudes Seriously
Proponents of PUA, and perhaps "Game" in general, have a lot of problems.  The first five points are actually only of secondary importance to the point I’m getting at, but I’ll list them briefly anyway

1) PUA / “Game” techniques work, when they do at all, only with a certain subset of women, namely those who highly value action and excitement, attention-and-glory-getting, and charisma over substance and personal content.  Put another way, PUA techniques work only with women  who value photogenic personas and / or tele-videogenic lifestyles over the boring-but-important traits like kindness, compatibility of values, integrity, honesty, responsibility, and so forth. 
2) Tends to emphasize quantity over quality, and therefore is not appropriate for anyone looking for a serious committed relationship, even the kinds of relationships falling well short of marriage.  

3) Overestimates both the quantity and quality of women who do like “jerks” and drama. Not surprising, given the techniques themselves are designed to pick up women, not just at bars (most famously) but in settings where people randomly come and go (malls, shopping centers, etc).  So almost by the very nature of things, the women who tend to go for “jerks”, “alphas”, etc. are – at best, not looking for a serious relationship, at worst drama queens, whores, cheaters, and other types who either have difficulty with maintaining any kind of relationship.
4) Can habituate men to focus on their own needs above those of their girlfriend or fiancé, thereby hurting many mens’ long-run ability to succeed in a committed relationship. In general, PUA . It creates bad habits in the minds of men looking to pick up women.
5) Not surprisingly, young women looking for a serious committed relationship likely know to insist on more controlled settings. Namely, they insist on meeting men through their circle of long-time friends and family members, for she will very likely trust them to help vet a guy’s relationship qualities.

Even assuming I am wrong about all points above, there's still the issue of self-respect.  In short, anyone who starts with the assumption that it's more important to get laid than to be your real self is brainwashed by too much popular culture. If anything, the exact opposite is true.  A true real man puts Principle Over Pussy - meaning he is not going to do a personality purge, personality transplant, "grow" as a person* in order to get women in bed, or even to pay the slightest bit of attention to him. 

In fact, a true real man would necessarily think "I got the hell away from the in-crowd and mainstream society because they're just a bunch of people with overgrown egoes who have the gall to think they have the right to tell everybody else how to live their lives, what to wear, what to drink, what kind of car to drive, what kind of image to have, etc. etc. etc. blah blah blah". 

Which leads into the next part of my blog series, about the values and attitudes that propel the PUA logic.

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